Why do we always care so much about how other people see us? Is how we are perceived really as important as our fears make it seem?

Something that I have always struggled with is how people see me. Being out in public or interacting with people always leaves me asking questions like, “What do they think about me?” and, “Do they like me and how I look?” It’s a constant fear-inducing cycle of questioning myself and every move I make, all because my mind has convinced me that how people see me is more important than how I see myself.

Based on what I’ve read, it is believed that the fear of being perceived often stems from the fear of judgment. We fear being ‘othered’ and perceived negatively for our differences and imperfections. This is especially seen in Neurodivergent people who already struggle with feeling ‘alien’ or different.

No one wants to have their every difference and imperfection scrutinized by those around them, even strangers, but eventually we have to realize that we cannot control how others see us. You could be the most perfect and relatable person in the world and still have some people judge and dislike you.

At the end of the day, no one knows you as much as you know yourself, so why worry about people judging you on the surface level? You are so much more than what people get to see, with so many unique intricacies making up the person that you are, from what you do to what you look like and how you express yourself.

I’ve realized that there will always be people who either like or dislike me for a variety of reasons and if someone dislikes me, they can always avoid me, but I cannot avoid myself. For that reason, I refuse to pretend to be someone I’m not or fear how people see me when I’m the one who has to live with myself for my entire life.

Not only that, but to focus on those who like and care for you is far more worth while than focusing on those who dislike you. It’s the same principal as focusing on the good rather than the bad.

Express yourself for who you are, not who you think people will see you as. Live your life for you, not for other people. Improve yourself because you want or need to, not because you are afraid of what people will say if you don’t. This is a key step to living a more fulfilling life and existence, this I can say based on my own experiences.